Radiance
by Burning November
Summary: He is so beautiful in the moonlight and he is glowing.  He is glowing tonight.
1. Moonlight

**Moonlight**, Chapter 1 of Radiance

Burning November

* * *

><p>He is so beautiful in the moonlight. It is just like a pleasing spotlight on him; not too soft and not too harsh.<p>

Just right.

Just... him.

And he does not know that I study him like this. All he knows is that I am silent and thinking while he is talking and we are walking in the park.

He does not think I'm listening sometimes.

_"Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a wall," he sighs._

_"Ritsuka, I promise. I am always listening. I love you."_

And as he is talking and smiling charmingly and glancing up at me every few moments, I am thinking about this particular night.

This particular night, he is glowing. Delight, satisfaction, love - they are all his tonight.

Yet I know he is hiding something from me. I do not know what it is and I do not know what to expect. I do not even have a prediction whether it's bad or good.

He chews on his lip between sentences as if he is unsure of himself. He usually is so decided and brave.

But I disregard this. Because Ritsuka is glowing. He is glowing in the moonlight.

* * *

><p>"You're positive it's been three years, Soubi?" Ritsuka asks me; he questions me.<p>

I smile from his uncertainty.

"Yes, this is the exact day I met you for the first time at your school."

He throws his head back gently to gaze up at the starry night sky, almost like he's trying to search for a way to make the statement more believable.

I am not hurt that he does not remember.

Because knowing is enough. Knowing that he-

"We have known each other for three years..." he trails off, sounding almost like he's in awe. "Three years."

I cannot help it. The words push themselves out.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

He is chewing on his lip when I quickly glance at him. And then he turns his head toward mine and his autumn eyes say it all.

He does not need to speak, does not need to respond.

Knowing is enough.

Knowing that he loves me.

...

We have taken a seat on a park bench near a serene pond. It reflects the moonlight so perfectly. But it does not glow as much as my Ritsuka.

No. It does not even glow. It kindles.

_He_ glows.

And he tells the stars in amazement, "Three years."

But he is still hiding something behind that lip secured between his teeth.

* * *

><p>I wanted to make the day memorable for him, even if he didn't remember the date.<p>

I urged him to take the day off today, telling him it was important. He hesitantly complied after he tried to argue with me. But I promised it was going to be worth his while.

Then I asked him, "Ritsuka, if there were anything you would like to do today, what would it be?"

And he said, "Make memories."

So we did.

And we went together to the familiar park. And we took pictures.

And we conversed.

And we went under the comforting shadow of the big oak tree and we kissed,

and I whispered little nothings in his sweet, little ear:

that I love him,

that I am his,

that I cherish him.

Looking back from now, age and experience slowly eased Ritsuka's disarray for me as time continued to tick. He can now accept my showing of affection.

He knew I would not want to – could not - stop myself anyway.

Even so, I was gentle with him today and settled my desire for him until I felt that the moment was right to kiss him.

In a way, I wanted to thank Ritsuka.

He never left me.

And I know

that he loves me.

* * *

><p>I did not want to give Ritsuka a present for our three years. I knew a memory would mean much more.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Soubi, let me take a picture of you. But you have to smile! A <em>real_ smile, too!" He warned me and looked at me with commanding, but soothing eyes._

_"You are ordering me to, Ritsuka?"_

_"I'm ordering you to smile in this picture."_

_He stared at me._

_I nodded and smiled inside, glad he was ordering me. Then he took the camera out of his pocket and aimed the lens directly for my face._

_I knew the trick._

_So before he took the picture, I focused my eyes on him._

_And that was all I needed._

Flash.

_"There! Now I have photographic evidence of your smile!"_

_He sounded so triumphant and still so serious, yet glad._

_And inside, I was smiling._

_And then he was smiling, his lighthearted smile._

_And we were both smiling._

_One on the inside and one out._

_And that was enough._

_So we were still and we were quiet and we were sharing a warm, summer afternoon under a big, oak tree in the park._

_"Why today, Soubi?" He asked, reverting his head to face mine as he put his camera back in his pocket. "Why did you want me to skip school today? Why was today so important?"_

_I returned his gaze and struggled to prepare an answer in my mind._

_I was hesitating to tell him the truth because I only wanted this day to indirectly thank him. But I did not want him to be suspicious either._

_So I confessed._

_"It has been three years since we met, Ritsuka," I said as subtly as I could._

_He blinked and his lips parted everso slightly, but he was silent._

_Then he nodded._

_"Happy three year anniversary of knowing each other, Soubi."_

_"Happy three year anniversary, Ritsuka."_

_And he was glowing, under the shadow of the big oak tree._

* * *

><p>Now we were just walking, nothing but pure silence between us.<p>

It was a tense silence, though. An anxious silence.

As if something needed to be said, but was being second-guessed in apprehension.

I still had no guesses as to what it could be.

But he was glowing, so I forgot.

* * *

><p>"I should take you home now, Ritsuka, before it gets any later."<p>

He acted surprised when I spoke his name and quickly jerked his head back toward mine, staring at me with dilated pupils as if I had awoke him from a deep sleep.

"Ah- Oh, well- No, it's not that late yet. I'll just come up with an excuse for mother when she asks. And, anyway- Ah..." he pulled his lip between his teeth to chew on it again.

"Yes, Ritsuka?"

"Ah..." he began again, but then swept his head away to the opposite side of me. "It-it's nothing."

I did not know what to say.

But I tried.

"Ritsuka, you can tell me. Please, tell me."

He pretended to rub dust off of his fingernails and bowed his head lower and lower until his hair completely masked his face.

"It's our third year since we met, right?" he whispered to the ground.

"Yes, our third year since we met."

"Well... I'm... I'm ready."

"You're ready? For what, Ritsuka?"

"I'm ready. I'm ready for you to take my ears."


	2. Candlelight

**Candlelight**, Chapter 2 of Radiance

Burning November

* * *

><p>I was searching for words.<p>

"R-Ritsuka-"

"Soubi," he started off shakily and quiet. "I... I know you want to question me. But... just..." He pauses and sighs. "Trust me with this. Okay? I'm... I'm... ready."

I leaned my head down toward his and looked into his autumn eyes for a sign of affirmation.

But his eyes...

No words could-

Those eyes stole my thoughts and my words and put me to a hault.

It was like they were pleading. _Take me_.

Moments passed and I still could not find the proper words. So I surrendured and gathered Ritsuka in my arms to carry him from the park to my apartment.

He looked up at me and I looked ahead.

I did not have to look at him. I knew he was looking at me with trust and acception.

It was like he could tell I was smiling inside.

* * *

><p>He fidgets and stirs and is questioning his actions after I set him down on my bed and I place my glasses on my nightstand.<p>

I lean down to gaze into his autumn eyes that are hesitantly, but surely whispering to me.

_Take me, _they whisper.

He is nervous.

But not afraid.

And still glowing.

Dimly, but still glowing.

"Don't worry," I whisper into his ear, grazing my lips across it, "I will be gentle."

He does not say anything.

He is still questioning himself.

I do not want him to be nervous.

I search for his hands that are resting in his lap and pull them apart from each other, intertwining our fingers - not too tight and not too loose.

"I love you, Ritsuka." I am whispering dedication into his ear.

I want to make this right.

"I love you, Ritsuka. I do." And I am brushing my lips down his ear, following his jawline until I reach his chin. I kiss it.

But I do not kiss his lips yet.

My fingers are light as feathers as I sweep them across the top of his trembling hands.

He is still with his eyes closed and lips parted everso slightly.

I can hear his breathing in the quiet.

I trail my lips down from his chin to the crook of his neck. But I do not kiss it. I am only sharing my breath on his skin, warming and relaxing his tense body.

"You are beautiful, Ritsuka," I am whispering and exhaling and telling truths on his neck all at once.

His beautiful neck.

And then I bury my smile in the crook of his neck after flicking my tongue across my lips and-

_Aah..._

He is quiet as he sighs. Quietly asking for more.

I will always oblige.

I trail kisses back up the side of his neck, allowing each kiss to linger on his skin like a butterfly's touch.

And I am still caressing his hands.

And I kiss his cheek, but with tenderness and desire. And I move onto

his lips.

I let my lips brush across the skin surrounding his lips before I slowly ease them into the open space he has subconsciously left for me as he is _Aah_-ing and _Ooh_-ing and wanting and wanting and desiring and wanting and-

I kiss him.

Somehow my hands have found his cheeks and his hands have found mine and we are holding each other. We are holding each other's faces as we kiss and we are sharing breaths and oxygen and

love

and we are wanting and wanting and desiring and-

I want him. I desire him.

I crave him.

I sink my lips deeper and deeper and I am pushing them and I want more and he wants more because he is no longer timid and questioning and he is pressing his lips back against mine and pushing and pressing and pushing-

Ritsuka lays himself down on the bed and I follow him until I am hovering over him with my knees planted next to his hips and my hands surround each side of his head.

"I love you, Ritsuka," I exhale with my lips lodged between his still.

And this time, it is him who slips his tongue through his teeth to find my tongue and stroke it. He strokes it and caresses it and swirls it along with his own.

And we are sharing each other.

We are sharing each other's saliva and oxygen and kisses and tongues and mouths.

His breathing is slowly getting heavier as we share each other, and then he is sighing and _Ooh_-ing and _Aah_-ing into my mouth and wanting and wanting and wanting.

But he pulls himself away to break the kiss.

I yield.

I lean my head back and open my eyes, looking down at him.

His eyes say it all. His eyes say it all again.

_Take me,_ they whisper.

And, "Take me," he whispers. His breathing and words are heavy like syrup.

And he is ready.

I bow my head back down to the familiar crook of his neck and slip my hands down his cheeks to his T-shirt. It is so warm.

I place my hands on each of his sides and squeeze them gently as I tickle his neck with my tongue and

_Ooh... _and _Aah..._

and I glance up at him as I search for the hem of his shirt. His hands are above his head - resting on the bed - and his autumn eyes are hiding behind their lids and he is chewing his lip.

I carefully pull his shirt up and over his head, then place it aside on the bed. I see his chest rise and fall. And it looks so delicate.

I lower my head to his chest and press my lips to the center tenderly.

"I am yours, Ritsuka," I whisper onto his skin.

I do not care if he does not hear me.

"I am only yours." I place my hands back on his sides and find one of his nipples with my lips by exploring his chest.

Exploring, just with my lips.

And I surround the pink skin with my lips and envelop it with my moist flesh. I roll my tongue around it and-

He sighs. Louder now, huskily.

His skin tastes sweet, but not too sweet. Like diluted maple syrup. Still rich and appetizing... but softly brown.

Like those eyes.

I pull my lips off of his nipple slowly to exhale onto it - soft like a whisper.

And he sighs,

_Aaaahhh... ah, _he sighs.

And I can hear his breathing now and it is heavier than before and filling my apartment with his sweet, sweet voice.

Thick and sweet and delicate and soothing. Like diluted maple syrup.

"S-_Soubi_," he sighs, "_Soubi_..."

I glance up at him from his chest and his face is flushed.

I can see it even in the darkness of the room.

"_Soubi_," he sighs again.

I have taken him somewhere.

I smile inside.

Gradually, I find his other nipple with my thumb and index finger. It is so soft.

I push on it. Gentle, gentle, with my two fingers.

And I pull and squeeze and rub...

Gentle.

And I have found the button of his jeans with my free hand and I am slowly unbuttoning, unzipping, and pulling. His jeans find the floor along with his briefs.

I know he is nervous.

So I am tender and subdued as I brush my lips down the center of his chest and follow them with my breath until I reach his pelvis.

I kiss it gently and whisper, "I promise. I will be gentle."

I kiss it again before grazing my lips further down, and further and further and-

He moans.

And he is so tense at first.

So before I begin, I whisper to him.

I whisper, "I love you, Ritsuka."

And then I kiss him at the very tip and caress him with my tongue.

Now he is sweeter than maple syrup but more delicate than a butterfly.

I want more and more and more. I want more and-

He moans again as I am licking and kissing and wetting him with my saliva and tongue and lips.

He is filling my apartment more and more and more with his voice.

I still want more and more and more and-

"_Aah_- _ahh_- Soubi..._ Soubi_-!" he moans, filling my apartment,

filling my desires.

I am licking and kissing and wetting him, but he is quiet for a few moments.

Suddenly,

I am not the one to turn him over.

He moves so his back is facing me and he is on his knees on the edge of my bed and he is silently expecting and asking and offering.

And I know.

I lean my face through the open space between his neck and shoulder and plant my lips on his hot skin.

But he surprises me again.

He turns his head to look at me over his shoulder with his wanting and pleading eyes for a few moments. Then his naked, pure body is facing me and he is pulling my shirt over my head and placing it ontop of his own shirt on the bed.

He helps me with my pants and briefs next.

And then we are naked together. We are pure.

We are true.

He looks up into my eyes one last time before turning back around and offering himself to me again. I lean down once more to kiss his flushed, hot skin and whisper to him.

"You are beautiful."

Then I am inside him and I can feel him pulsing around me, faster and heavier every couple of moments

and faster and heavier and faster and heavier and faster and heavier

and I'm in and out and in and out and

and it is a blur, but I can make out that he is filling my apartment - filling my desires - with his moans and his

"_Aah_... S-_Soubi_! _Ooooh_, oh...!"

He is so warm and tight and pure and _right_.

He is so right.

And I am throwing my head back in delight and joy and fulfillment all at once.

It is so warm,

he is so warm-

and

_Oohhh!_

and

_Aaaaahhh!_

and

_Rituska..._

he comes and I come inside him and we are one.

We are one and I am inside of him

and we are pure

and we are so

_right_.

And he

is

glowing.

He is

glowing

in the darkness of the room.


End file.
